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“He Calls Me Frigid, He Might Be Right”

December 5, 2008

Fashion Friday will be posted later today fear not my filthy fashion fans. But I received an email today, that I felt needed my attention immediately.
“Lola,
Hi, I kind of know you. That is, I’ve seen you around. My problem is I’m a model. That’s not the problem. My problem is I’m an amateur porn star, and I’m happily married, except when it comes to sex. I love my husband but, I just don’t get into sex. At all. When I do submit to the act, I prefer to read a book. He calls me frigid, I fear he’s right. The big mystery is I love masturbating and doing sexy shoots. But I’m always solo or just laying next to another person.
What’s wrong with me?
~Icy ”

Interesting, I have read accounts of sex workers being frigid due to the fact, it’s their job. Some people who equate sex as money can not or will not preform if there is no benefit. Obviously you most likely do not fall into this category. However perhaps because you are a model you feel if you let yourself enjoy sex, the messy fun way your husband won’t see you at your best therefore you hold back so he can enjoy the “model” image. That’s a form a frigidity which can be cured in small steps or with the help of a clinician (medical professional) You might want to try masturbating with your husband in the room, allowing him to watch but not touch, then work up to touching and so on.
Still another cause might be your attitudes towards sex and your sexuality. Were you raised thinking sex was filthy, dirty and taboo? (A lot of parents *still* do that for some reason.) If you were talk it over with your husband or a close girlfriend or again a medical professional. Lastly, perhaps you are unable to enjoy sex with your husband because sexually he’s not your cup of tea.
Either because he insists on singing the Meow Mix jingle during sex, or because he isn’t quite as clean as you’d like. If that’s the case, talk about it, I’m sure if he knew it distressed he would stop. Still, maybe during all this soul searching you figure you like girls, it happens. Sometimes we suppress our urges so much they have to come out in other ways.
Whatever you discover remember frigidity is not permanent it can be worked though, and you are not even close to being alone!
Sinfully Yours,
Lola

Send questions, comments, hate mail to: aural@inkigirl.com

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