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February 28, 2009

There are three things I want to be:
– A shaman
– Successful
– A teacher

My desire to travel is quite strong. When I say travel I mean pick up and move somewhere, if only for a few months. I love(d) doing that. Now, I’ve put down roots that seem to hard to pull up. A few months ago I was looking into teaching in other countries type programs. I don’t have a teaching degree, but could go through the training most programs like that would require.
That would upset Jak, it did in fact. He would give up his dream job, working at a comic book store. It would be harder to raise the baby but, it would also be an enriching experience. Besides, I’d only do it for a little while NYC is my home.
I tried telling Jak I don’t feel fulfilled, I want to do this. I want to have one REAL job. He just didn’t understand.
Maybe that’s why I always move away in the night maybe I’m running. Even better, perhaps I’m trying to find value in myself, and when I can’t I run.
It’s not so easy now.
…I do want to teach. I’d feel like I was actually helping the world instead of just myself.

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