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For Him, From me

June 28, 2009

I met this Guy. I know absolutely next to nothing about. Part of me is rational about it. The other part of me wants to offer myself up as his personal fuckslut.
At least part of me knows I shouldn’t.
Points for me.

I live in a world under the regular world, I can inhabit the regular world but I’m not a part of it. I deal in desire. Lust is my medium and I’m a mighty fine artist. But, when you live like this you learn to deal with the eventuality of being cast aside. Like a postcard from the field trip to the museum.

Even in my personal “Salon” I can understand it. I know the place where I chose to spend my evenings breeds heartbreak. I know and yet, I still go. I fall easily but grow that into something and I’m fiercely loyal.

Lately, I’ve noticed. Dominant men will hunt me, for my submission is most rare. However once they have me, collared, or begging, they grow bored with me and move on. I’m tired of that game.

Still, I hope…maybe I’ll find the one. The one who fits into my life who can give me what I need. The space to be Dominant the lack of ego about it. Because He knows I’ll crawl to him. Someone who can enjoy watching me flirt, not because he’s cuckolded but because he enjoys my artistry. I want Someone who understands my need for brutality and can still love me as he’s hurting me. Someone who needs and craves me just as I do them.

I want to find the man of my darkest wet nightmares.

…My hormones tell me I have. They’ve been wrong before. However tonight my mind says maybe. I only saw him for two seconds due to power failure. In those two seconds my lust overcame me. I tried to run toward his naked chest….

It’s probably best the power failed.

However,next time I see him. I’ll strip slowly. Then in all my nakedness I will show him this and hope
…and to You, lets play..

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