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Breaking Lola

August 20, 2009

From September ’09- September ’10 I’m trying goalessness. In other words I’m going to just do, what I do. See where that takes me.
Yes, I’m still planing things. I’m just not going to try and *make* anything happen but, merely enjoy what is happening. I’m sure many people who know me must be taking bets right now. I’m very driven but, I think maybe in always trying to steer, I’m not truly open to the call of the universe.

Even if I am doing my “calling” perhaps in goalessness I will achieve more than I could if I planned my steps out. In throwing myself out I will become a monk, or maybe a doll maker, or maybe something I hadn’t ever thought of before.

So, here I am universe. Give me what you got. Show me what I can become. Beware to anyone, I’m a Dominatrix seeking her own path, my own Middle Way.

I’m hoping to remake myself into myself free of anyone’s stains and perceptions. I’m hopefully breaking Lola into a new Lola. I don’t know if I’ll be better but I know something has to change. I have to live dangerously. To take greater but smarter risks.
Kiss strangers, sell ad space, drink more, look forward, trust in tarot, love openly. A whole list of other things I avoided out of fear.

This will be quite a year.

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